The DIY Vasectomy Kit: Gulp, Gulp, Snip, Snip (Or Is It Snip, Snip, Gulp, Gulp?)

Sure. You love your kids more than anything. Of course you do. But there comes a time when you decide you’ve got enough mouths to feed. Enough is enough.

Maybe the realization strikes during a particularly epic tantrum by your 2 year old in the toothpaste aisle of Target.

Maybe it’s your Chevy Chase-like moment when your minivan – overflowing with food wrappers, sport equipment and more kids than is technically safe – pulls up next to the MINI Cooper with the hot blonde behind the wheel.

Or maybe it’s the day your daughter gets picked up for a date by the long-haired, tattooed, earring wearing rebel.

Whatever the case, you know the time has come to play some serious prevent defense with your sperm.

Yep. It’s Vasectomy Time!

Now, you’re a guy. And, as a guy, you know there’s no reason to pay “professionals” to do things you can do yourself.

Plumbing. Electrical work. Building a deck.

And, now, thanks to this handy kit, you can add vasectomies to the list.

Why pay an experienced physicians thousands of dollars when you can get the tools of the trade for under $10?! This kit’s got you covered with everything you need to keep your swimmers from reaching the finish line including:

• A bottle of bourbon
• Scalpel
• Disinfectant wipes
• A “Patented” red scrotum holder
• Magnifying glass
• Tweezers
• 2 Small Band-Aids
• And much more!

As you can see on the box, it even has a guarantee so, if after using the Kit you “develop elephantiasis of the scrotum, simple return it to me along with a picture of your ballooned testicals for a full refund.” (We’ll assume the manufacturer’s word is better than their grammar.)

Anyhoo, if you’re scratching your head thinking this can’t possibly be an actual product, you’re wrong. Kinda.

You can indeed buy the DIY Vasectomy Kit from (where else?!) But what you’ll actually be buying is a prank gift box.

It’s the perfect gag gift for a co-worker or friend whose wife is knocked up yet again or a dad who’s always bitching and moaning about their kids.

The box comes empty so you can put a real gift inside the box such as an actual bottle of bourbon, fart spray or perhaps just a nice dress shirt.

Whatever you stick in it, this box will no doubt go down as one of the most memorable gifts any dad will ever get!